THE SCHOOL OF TRUTH LECTURE MEN AND WOMEN IN THE MAKING

A half-grown dog came bouncing into our garden - a cheerful trespasser. There was little harm he could do in this well-used environment so we watched his antics for a while. He had all the vigour and appeal of his youth. First he chased our cats up a tree, then he sent our small daughter sprawling in his joy at meeting her. Next he noticed the gardener and stopped dead, his four feet planted firmly on the ground. It was comical to see him trying to look aggressive. Soon an agitated neighbour appeared at our gate waving a leash. "Come here Buster!" she called. "Naughty dog!" Buster picked up his ears and bounded off in the opposite direction. In due time he was captured and led away, his tail drooping but half-pleased to be back in the hands of authority. Here was a young creature, full of spirit and adventure, behaving like a puppy, yet trying to find himself as a grown dog. No-one would censure him for being what he was. Being a dog, maturity was only months away. But for human teenagers maturity is still a long way off. Years must pass as they make their experiments and grapple with a growing urge for independence. There are no shortcuts to growing up and no easy ways to finding mental and emotional balance. There is no typical teenager. They are very diverse in personality and have vastly different talents and different life's missions. Their elders often find them bewildering and exasperating - and touchingly vulnerable. Parents make trouble for themselves when they try to impose their own ideas on these young people. It is their duty to install a sense of right-and-wrong, and respect for others and their property, and the value of considerate behaviour. But adults must realise that they live a great deal in the world of ideas. Each has become to a certain extent their own philosopher. With their wider knowledge and experience, their perspective is fundamentally different from that of their children. Teenagers live in a world of appearances and their vision is veiled by ignorance - they have so few experiences to draw upon. Biological changes are taking place in them, causing strange sensations and unbearable longings. They want to try everything, to find out first-hand, to be free of parental control. Naturally they come up against opposition, and they express their resentment vehemently. The rebel in teenage boys and girls compels them to flout the wishes and orders of parents and teachers, and they see no danger in the most hair-raising exploits. This is a time when parents and teachers should cheerfully "carry on regardless" in the roles that life gives them. Much as they protest and kick against it, teenagers need the security which order gives them. In their hearts they respect the rules which they so frequently break and they do not resent justice fairly meted out to them. Bullying and unreasonableness breed in them a wholesome contempt, while they are quick to get the better of those who are too soft. Followers of Truth should realise that their children are in their care for a Divine purpose. Whatever their shortcomings, Nature has chosen them to see these children through their transforming experiences. God does not make mistakes and there are no black sheep in His fold.

Much good may be unfolded in parents and their children during the shared years of their lives. They are a precious gift from Him Who resides in us all. Often parents come to see us or write when they have reached a stage of desperation. Accounts are told of previously manageable and pleasant children turning into monsters of selfishness, laziness and aggression. Their behaviour and friends are condemned. It seems their developing ego is out of control - as though an adult personality awaits, which is too big for them at present. We adults know that this must pass. We know Spirit, the Giver of All Good, is guiding our children and most surely endowed them with what they need for fulfilment. Our task is to nurture their Divine potential through tolerance on one side and control on the other. We do not make negative characterisations. We do give responsibility. We never ridicule. We encourage them to express their views. Above all we bless them and thank God for them - complete with flair and fault. So, instead of complaining about our teenagers, their friends, their school work and their appearance, look to the Creator and His gifts in them. Refuse to become distressed by their seemingly negative behaviour. See it as no more than the spots that mar their fresh faces during this period. Teenagers often see themselves as starting their lives from scratch, not taking over where their parents left off. They obey an inner voice that seems to renounce all that has been done for them. They cannot completely forget their inner training, but often leave it in abeyance while the process of taming the ego occupies them.

When we become over-anxious about our sons and daughters we should recall the words of the philosopher poet: Your children are not your children, They are sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. It is a privilege as parents to send out individuals into the world - not replicas of ourselves. Parents are most wonderfully enriched and blessed through the experience of raising their children to adulthood. We come to understand that God already had a special place in His world for each one. We see them using the talents He gave them and which were perhaps hidden from us in earlier years. Then perhaps we think "Why could I not have been more tolerant, and more trusting?" We wonder why we permitted ourselves so many negative reactions.